I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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