I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the high leading the old right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize