I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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