:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
