grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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