so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
