all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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