Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize