My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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