how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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