Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
