is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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