people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
