Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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