Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
