My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
