I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
