Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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