Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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