I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
