somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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