Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
