Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
