this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
