There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
