so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine