STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL