but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
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He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid