Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough