Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.

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  (586): a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho. http://tfl.nu/ftbg
  Replies (3) Good night (1275) Bad night (831)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

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  (508): god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?! (774): Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to. http://tfl.nu/gr6l
  Replies (25) Good night (902) Bad night (5089)
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  (716): View more from New York

  a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz

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  (716): a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz http://tfl.nu/ffgi
  Replies (39) Good night (7796) Bad night (791)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?

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  (412): do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister? http://tfl.nu/on91
  Replies (50) Good night (3334) Bad night (768)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall

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  (210): Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall http://tfl.nu/30d7
  Replies (5) Good night (2297) Bad night (876)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.

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  (631): Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you. http://tfl.nu/saac
  Replies (6) Good night (3665) Bad night (794)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.

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  (360): Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/0hus
  Replies (10) Good night (1717) Bad night (660)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game

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  (651): Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game http://tfl.nu/de08
  Replies (13) Good night (1621) Bad night (608)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night

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  (970): The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/z7c2
  Replies (1) Good night (1901) Bad night (451)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1776) Bad night (472)
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  (213): View more from California

  And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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  (213): And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at http://tfl.nu/rkdn
  Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (500)
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  (760): View more from California

  Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.

  (818): View more from California

  That was one of the best texts I got today

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  (760): Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner. (818): That was one of the best texts I got today http://tfl.nu/vb5p
  Replies (7) Good night (1716) Bad night (359)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.

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  (303): No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities. http://tfl.nu/n27f
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (258)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.

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  (217): Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack. http://tfl.nu/wwoa
  Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (243)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.

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  (408): I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes. http://tfl.nu/i8od
  Replies (0) Good night (269) Bad night (334)

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