names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
