you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
