Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  what time did you get home last night?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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  (917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla
  Replies (16) Good night (1841) Bad night (934)
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  (714): View more from California

  thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.

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  (714): thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him. http://tfl.nu/1l2e
  Replies (31) Good night (1230) Bad night (5710)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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  (513): CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now.... http://tfl.nu/m585
  Replies (36) Good night (927) Bad night (2865)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.

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  (602): I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one. (623): Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully. http://tfl.nu/x05a
  Replies (36) Good night (4746) Bad night (666)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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  (413): Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist. http://tfl.nu/vfvp
  Replies (33) Good night (5701) Bad night (1464)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
  Replies (20) Good night (1455) Bad night (3040)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

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  (708): This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram http://tfl.nu/p4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (2799) Bad night (815)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.

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  (214): ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room. http://tfl.nu/r3lr
  Replies (11) Good night (502) Bad night (1292)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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  (315): We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked. http://tfl.nu/mwis
  Replies (4) Good night (1976) Bad night (471)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.

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  (845): I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet. http://tfl.nu/5hoi
  Replies (4) Good night (887) Bad night (805)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.

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  (775): That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed. http://tfl.nu/y3pb
  Replies (9) Good night (344) Bad night (1007)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!

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  (660): Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription! http://tfl.nu/if8j
  Replies (4) Good night (926) Bad night (287)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"

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  (305): I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me" http://tfl.nu/ic9y
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (273)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.

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  (989): Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams. http://tfl.nu/vuk2
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (220)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.

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  (269): I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you. http://tfl.nu/fc9a
  Replies (3) Good night (488) Bad night (169)

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