so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.