worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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