i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
