I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
