I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
