I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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