I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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