Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
