I molested 6 butterflies tonight
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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