DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
