the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
