There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
