i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
worst night to have a conscience
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
