I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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