its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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