my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have post one night stand depression
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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