...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my being single is dangerous.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
