I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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