I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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