Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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