i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
