i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
