Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
