I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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