I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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