mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize