He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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