drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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