So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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