At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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