Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
