the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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