So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
