i don't like sucking hair
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
