i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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