the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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