Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Randomize
