There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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